- - - - - k e s h i t e - RIRAITO

Sunday, April 15

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I had a nightmare where the FBI caught me for illegal downloading. And they were charging me 50usd for ever 1mb I downloaded.

And my 500gb external hard drive is almost full. and I saw a window where they were calculating how much its going to cost me. and I just saw the cost for my debt go higher and higher. and I felt my walls close in around me and I was panicy because I had so many things in that external hard drive that were perfectly legal and they were saying that since it was in the same folder, it's considered illegal.

and then I woke up-- to my cousin calling me on my cell phone. He's in conneticut and he was saying that the rain is shitty there. He's back packing his way here to south jersey and then, I said something but there was no reply. I looked at my cellphone and a few seconds later I was more conscious.

then I got confused if he really did call me or not. Because I'm surprised that he called my cellphone and not the house phone. @_@

I dont know whats going on anymore.

Espeically if I should go to work today or not. because I'm completely cramming a term paper and speech.

I'll die I tell you.

[SVA]

I finally got their god forsaken acceptance packet the day after I said, "yes. I will attend pratt" to pratt.

well, SVA didnt offer me a scholarship. Their deposites are more expensive. Their application packet was not as impressive. and they want me to take a placement exam.

bullshit.

Pratt
An update on pratt. Apparently, their computer graphic major is very hard to get into. I mean, they only have 25 people. I mean, that major is pretty selective.

And here I thought I got into pratt because not a lot of people wanted to apply to computer graphics and they had a lot of slots.

It was actally the opposite. I feel special and surprised.

I was talking to one of the students that seemed kinda cool in the sense that, they're nerds but in the not skinny and slightly hard core kind of way. They told me that the major isnt as good as they claim to be. The director has a preference for the more "fine arts" shit. (read: abstract).

So theres a problem with me and my decided major: illustration or traditional animation or computer graphics. help?

Actually, I think pratt will be more like that. They want fine artsy things. SVA want the shock value type of things. I want... tetsuya nomura and shinichiro watanabe type of things.

This is going to be a weird 4 years. I was surrounded by high schoolers too.

My sister wasnt that impressed with pratt. she thought more people would dye their hair. she was expecting a sea of multi colored hair. There was this girl I kept on staring at. I think she noticed I kept on staring at her. But I was staring at her because her dye job was so fucking gorgeous. I love the way she did her bangs.

Apparently, it seems like I'll be spending the whole 4 years there instead of 3. It has been decided that:

1. I'll enjoy my college life with free time. and
2. I'm going to the philippines before I do start my fall semester.

anyone miss me yet?

Labels: college, dream, philippines

Monday, April 9

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[Replies]
Aurora: Apparently all of matsu jun's hair is in his eye brows and no where else.

i did watch the opening of naruto where they show his silhouette doing those funky moves against a blue background. he's hot, when you don't see his face. i'm sorry, i said it.

Haha you dare to question my "son's" potential hotness?! I promise you that when he's 18, he's a character you'll regret insulting. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

and when I imagine naruto with sasuke, they look a healthy age of 16. So I'm completely not insane. College age would be hotter I'm sure. But lets not go over 35.

you're so positive. When I hear you say "be happy" I think of jolibee. you should be their spokesman. but you're taiwanese drama star. I think it works.

Erika: Dude I just cant imagine tamaki with anyone. but I do love his and kyoya's "mama to papa" thing going on. and I cant imagine tamaki with haruhi because he treats her like a daughter, it confuses me. (ps. kyouya is hot)

I like kyouya and the twins. its natural for me to pair favorites. and its adorable that one of them subconsciously crushes haruhi.

I dont think my porfolio was awesome. they accepted me for my grades (surprsingly) And because not a lot of people went to the major I was applying for.

well sakura turns ok. but the whole three of them refelcting the sannin part is annoying. so I wish kishimoto did something else to her. But hey, seeing that sakura is a yaoi fan makes her kinda cool.

erika is so wise. *bows* not really an absence but my mom does enough for me and I feel bad making her do more. it doesnt feel fair on my part. but I'll take your advice.

oh yaoi. I'm surprsied not all girls agree on the yaoi part. I think its their mistake. I mean, if boys can have porn, then we should have boys having romantic relationships with each other.

...

[Gankutsuou]
Was very awesome. I didnt fast forward anything, surprisingly.

I compeltely heart Franz. I thought he was good looking and loyal and he made me cry in the end. Albert is fucking gay. Franz is gay. the Count was gay. I mean, what the fuck was with that kiss?!

Further more, I think the reason why Franz didnt love anyone was because he loved Albert, who SOOOO doesnt deserve his devotion, love and loyalty and etc.

It made me saddest in episode 17 when albert ran out on him and franz was calling him back. After a while franz just sat alone in their secret hideout and said "you still go to him..."

I want to punish albert for his ignorance and taking Franz gorgeous sexy existance for granted.

Bastard.

ALSO albert made it seem like his relationship with the count was EVERYTHING, when they've only met for like, what, 2 months!? WHAT THE FUCK! I mean franz has been there almost your whole fucking life, helping you, (loving you,) and never secretly conspiring against you and you BITCH to franz about feeling betrayed by the count.

you son of a bitch. I'll fucking murder you! did you ever think about franz?! you bastard. and how... uberly nice and gorgeous he is? and how he must feel like under soft sheets and moonlight?!

I'll stop. I'm fine. ANYWAY...

Franz also reminds me of Jowy from Suikoden II sans the betraying and the julia. Maybe it was because their best buddies and in the end they were still (kind of) loyal to one another in their hearts. (in the gayest way possible btw)

so the anime has inspired me to read the book. I have realized I can take a new apporach to doing the book: I'll draw the characters. ITs a good practice and it makes them good looking and leaves relationships vulnerable to my dirty dirty yaoi loving soul.

tee-hee.

on the other note. the boys of gankutsu are 15 years old. They're younger than naruto characters but look older. I'm amazed. see, the age doesnt matter. As long as they look hot, its fine.

[The O.B.G.Y.N.]
-- was very traumatizing. I remember half saying, half screaming: "If this is what sex feels like, I'll stay a virgin for the rest of my life!" I had a pap smear. This is the first time I went to an obgyny.

It wasnt really the cold metal clamper thing that bothered me. It was more like, THERESSOMETHINGGOINGINMEANDGETTINGWIDERWTF!!!!

I wish it'll never happen again. but its a yearly thing. well, I dont think it should matter to me because I'm not sexually active anyway.

(there is something weird about that term. "sexually active," I mean.)

[Nostalgia but not in an Awesome way.]
Theres something that took me 11 months to get over and for some reason, I've been bringing up the memories of it slowly and one by one.

Its like I'm breaking a shell that took me so long to make. Hammering it bit by bit and slowly seeing what "treasures" or "curses" I put inside.

maybe its because I've found the perfect background music to play with it. Maybe not. However, it is making me think of doing things I might regret, but surely not necessary.

[Mp3 I'm currently promoting for you to download]
Sondre Lerche - Happy birthday girl.

please download it. It was my favorite song when I saw them perform. and this song is sooo getting overplayed. I'm sure I'll be tired of it by the end of the week.

ps. I made a typo here but I cant seem to find it anymore. it was a theirs = they're typo. haha my bad.

Labels: emo, fangirlism, new experience