Thursday, October 16
|
I was a bit upset with one of the statements that my friend said today when we ate out.
so there was a bunch of us eating in Castro's (a mexican restaurant across for our dorms). It was me, kiyomi, yui, anri, jean and mel. Towards the end when we were paying our bill, I realized that we were a bit lacking for the tip. I turned to Mel, who was paying for my share, and asked her, "Did we give our share of the tip?"
She gave a sharp "No." I said that in restaurants, you should at least give 15% of the tip. She said, it depends on some places. We're in Brooklyn, she said.
For some reason, I took offense to that. I think it shouldnt matter whether we're in brooklyn or not, this is still a person's salary. This is the waiter's salary. Because in america, waiters get less than $5 an hour because they're expected to rely on tip for their income.
I dont know. Maybe my thinking is in the wrong, but I was actually pissed when she said that. The waitresses were nice and attentive. They filled up our glasses and were patient to arrange the tables for our group.
With my calcualtions, we were supposed to give $1 for the tip, each. However, one of us, god bless her, gave 2 dollars instead of one because of someone's stinginess.
I mean, sure, I'm stingy myself. Thats why I barely go out in the first place. But still, you should at least appreciate the hard work of that person and be decent enough to tip them.
...
I know I havent posted that much. Thats because I never had a plenty of things to say. But I just want to say, hellu!
To those who know me and stumbled upon this after giving up on it, I'd like to apologize for not updating.
And I think the only person that can read this would be my brother, Justin. (Hellu!)
I'd like to say that in my Computer Graphics Major, my teacher said I was smart. He said I was not behind in class ----Far from it, in fact.
Though I feel so grateful for receiving such a compliment, deep in my heart I reject it. Even if I respect my teacher in the most honest to goodness sense.
Every time I write a code in processing, I feel stupider and stupider. I cant make it do what I want it to do. I never seem to succeed in my visions and my ideas. I cant control it.
It pisses me off.
I'm ok. I'm just pissed. I might die from havving high blood pressure (thanks, lola).
Labels: college, friends, pratt
Saturday, April 26
|
What was going to be in my deviantart:
11 more days till...
I leave.
This summer, I hope to be very prolific. Nothing like art school to kill your like (because its not love) for drawing. Same thing applies to my tiny hope of making comics.
I have been seriously slacking off. I wonder if foundation year is actually helping me draw better. or color better.
whatever. I will not think about drawing at the moment. I will think of more important things, like JAPAN. (rubs it on anyone-who-wants-to-go-there's face) booya (the buddah).
nostalgic moment: bubba the black sheep. hehehe.
I think i realized the reason why I have been pigging out. (( - _ - )) Aside from cause number 1 (which I feel not to reaveal because it sounds annoying), cause number 2 is becasue I feel stressed and pressured. Slowly, I'm thinking its ok to be a bit different and weird. (I'm 22 years old and I finally figured it out. wtf, mate)
The only reason why I can accept it now and not before was because, I realize that when you try to fit into some place where you think you belong, you end up getting easily pissed at everyone you're with. You become this bitter, angry, indifferent person with a bipolar-esteem.
I never knew it was so easy to drop some things in life. like, you know, PEOPLE. and specifically, you know, "friends."
wait. I'm sounding extremely bitchy right now. I think I'll move this to my blog. >_>;; Ooo... bitchy much?
I think I'm the type of person who'd rather be alone than be with people who are cool but still tick me off. I dont think I've met a single person in america who hasnt ticked me off even once. (I'm sure I pissed them off too.)
well.. thats that.yea.
Labels: college, friends, pratt, socializing
Friday, February 8
|
Its almost the start of my birthday in american eastern time.
Hello 2008.
Hello my 22nd year of life.
There are so many things I want to say and talk about I dont even know where to start. AT first I kind of want to bitch with whats going on with my life at the moment. but No. LEts not take that path just yet. Lets build this up:
For the good things in life.
I'm happy I knew Joey even if my childhood memory with her is pretty vague.
I'm happy I met Charissa, Kath and Fatima when I was grade 7.
I'm happy htat I met and became close friends with jopie no matter how short lived it was.
I'm happy I met Aurora, Greta and Erika when I was in 4th year high school.
I'm happy meeting with all of them during the summer and spending my time with them.
I'm happy that my parents are my parents. I'm happy that my family is my family. I'm happy my grandparents are my grandparents.
And I think that's how far my happiness goes.
When I came to america it became a bit weird. However, I was glad to explore philadelphia with Lauren. I was happy I over came Dan with Bizmark. I was happy I was a pseudo-intelectual with Jim. I was happy feeling nerdy with my nursing study group. I was happy I experienced improvising music with my violin with Dave's Guitar.
I'm happy with the people I met in america for a short while. Thats what I realized. I'd thank someone for the experiences of these alone. However, I dont want to relive that part of my life.
As for pratt, I feel like my life went on too fast. I've moved from circle to circle. from the people I met since orientation, then hanging out with nathan, then hanging out eith emi exploring new york, then hanging out with the kids of manga club, then hanging out with mel during finals, and then with kat and her gang.
I dont know if I have adhd or if I'm just never happy with the people I meet. Though its an experience meeting and being with them, I still feel like I'll never be satisfied with the company I'm provided with. Why? Because I get tired. It borders between honest similarites, forced laughs, and pushing myself to fit more into their circle and their type of personality.
I feel like I'm lying to myself more.
Though I always had the option of being by myself, I cant help bur feel pressured to say yes when they want to hangout with me. Its not my fault I'm so popular (haha I'm just kidding)
(kind of)
I dont know if maybe I'm different because I'm me, or I'm different because of my age. Or maybe I'm different because I'm not where I want to be. I'm not the senior multimedia student in CSB in the philippines hanging out and shopping with aurora, greta and erika.
I'm not that person. I'm a transfer freshman in pratt institute surrounded with kids who are mature and think they're mature but are still very naive. But I do admit are smarter than me. I'm not smart. I dont have a lot of common sense. I cant draw that well. I cant spell and I constantly abuse the engish language. I have no self control. I'm still foolish and easily teased and fooled. I'm not creative and I do not have a decent portfolio.
I tend to sit around wasting my time spacing out or looking at restaurant menus.
and I'll do admit more things.
I admit my lack of faith.
I admit my insecurities of not fitting but not wanting to fit in.
I admit my longing for my highschool years.
I admit my dissatisfaction of america and the days, weeks and months I spent and wasted.
I admit that I miss some people from way back when very much.
I admit that I dont think I'll ever grow up and I dont want to but I have to.
I admit I dont honestly, seriously have any attatchemnt to the people I'm hanging out with right now.
I admit I fake too many smiles.
I admit I fake too many laughs.
I admit I fake my gluttony.
I admit that I dont like anything that I've ever done.
and I admit that I am slowly losing myself to apathy and to something, or someone that isnt me.
Hello my 22nd year. I hope this one is a lucky one.
Labels: birthday, circles, college, contemplation, friends, school
Thursday, August 23
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Aurora: I completely love you and agree on your thinking. One girl is one year younger than me, the other is two.
they're... girls. and they're... white. I completely dont approve. I wish I went to SVA though. the crowd is dorkier. I'm a dork. I want more dorks! this place is to artsy and cool for me.
Fatima: I'm soooooooooo sorry. I planned on calling you when I was in the philippines then things just got hectic and then I ran out of time. eep! gomen! How's everything though? cool with school? you're graduating soon!
Oh my god. can I just bitch?
So we were gathering for the trip to china town, and while we were waiting for our guide, we were told to sit down. So it was me, this guy that looked familiar and this INCREDIBLY GOOD LOOKING GUY.
Ok. By INCREDIBILY GOOD LOOKING, I meant male but with nice delicate features, asian but not chinky, skinny, and definately not bad looking. Sadly he was kinda punk with a down baby mohawk (which was kind of cute) and he completely looked like he was half white and half japanese (like ken lloyd with a softer face and prettier eyes).
But here is what I was bitching about:
So the guy that looked familiar tried to strike up a conversation. and I ended up conversing with him, hoping that the bishie would join in. But that familiar looking guy was the same guy in the student scceptance day and I went all out with my geeky side---- completely talked about Heroes, video games and shite.
And then the bishie just stood up and left, and I was completely sad. (not really)
BUT ITS SO RARE!!! for me to see them, I mean. A guy that would perfectly fit my standards in looks. gasp! I feel sad. Its the second time in my life I've seen a guy appeal to me!!! ;_;
Well, he's in my school. but I'm sure I'll never see him again. and if I do, I wont do anything about it anyway. I'll just go to him and say, "dude. dont get piercings on your face. its a waste."
CHU! that ends my day.
Labels: college, girly
Sunday, April 15
|
I had a nightmare where the FBI caught me for illegal downloading. And they were charging me 50usd for ever 1mb I downloaded.
And my 500gb external hard drive is almost full. and I saw a window where they were calculating how much its going to cost me. and I just saw the cost for my debt go higher and higher. and I felt my walls close in around me and I was panicy because I had so many things in that external hard drive that were perfectly legal and they were saying that since it was in the same folder, it's considered illegal.
and then I woke up-- to my cousin calling me on my cell phone. He's in conneticut and he was saying that the rain is shitty there. He's back packing his way here to south jersey and then, I said something but there was no reply. I looked at my cellphone and a few seconds later I was more conscious.
then I got confused if he really did call me or not. Because I'm surprised that he called my cellphone and not the house phone. @_@
I dont know whats going on anymore.
Espeically if I should go to work today or not. because I'm completely cramming a term paper and speech.
I'll die I tell you.
[SVA]I finally got their god forsaken acceptance packet the day after I said, "yes. I will attend pratt" to pratt.
well, SVA didnt offer me a scholarship. Their deposites are more expensive. Their application packet was not as impressive. and they want me to take a placement exam.
bullshit.
Pratt An update on pratt. Apparently, their computer graphic major is very hard to get into. I mean, they only have 25 people. I mean, that major is pretty selective.
And here I thought I got into pratt because not a lot of people wanted to apply to computer graphics and they had a lot of slots.
It was actally the opposite. I feel special and surprised.
I was talking to one of the students that seemed kinda cool in the sense that, they're nerds but in the not skinny and slightly hard core kind of way. They told me that the major isnt as good as they claim to be. The director has a preference for the more "fine arts" shit. (read: abstract).
So theres a problem with me and my decided major:
illustration or
traditional animation or
computer graphics. help?
Actually, I think pratt will be more like that. They want fine artsy things. SVA want the shock value type of things. I want... tetsuya nomura and shinichiro watanabe type of things.
This is going to be a weird 4 years. I was surrounded by high schoolers too.
My sister wasnt that impressed with pratt. she thought more people would dye their hair. she was expecting a sea of multi colored hair. There was this girl I kept on staring at. I think she noticed I kept on staring at her. But I was staring at her because her dye job was so fucking gorgeous. I love the way she did her bangs.
Apparently, it seems like I'll be spending the whole 4 years there instead of 3. It has been decided that:
1. I'll enjoy my college life with free time. and
2. I'm going to the philippines before I do start my fall semester.
anyone miss me yet?
Labels: college, dream, philippines
