Tuesday, January 31
|
kuya: dont worry. I only drink at home because its free. <3 and I want my liver to live longer.
erika: sweetie, you're just too busy having a life to pay attention to what i type.
Are you part of the college-student-in-America-with-part-time-job-in- the-fast-food-industry culture now? (Phew. Mouthful.) ahem not any more my dear. I'll tell you why later on.
if you would let me I would whore out your web designing skills. I think you should just take computer graphic design and go here. you'll earn millions in new york or la.
but thank you for sending the link. i feel special. <3
greta: thats true but it does let me know that you're alive when I havent talked to you in a while. and I do try to read them. maybe you should try writing in english =D.
yes! I am superior! filipinos rule!
navi: I dont want to work in hot topic because im mad at it for selling gothic lolitas and anime stuff. god damn it, it pisses me off like hell. and the whole wapanese movement.
I'm surprised that I dont know alot of companies in that list gah. I'm not too informed of america's businesses. but I do knwo that my sister used to work in eli-lily. I think its lower than starbucks. hahaha
by the way, I want to watch howl's.
...
Last week friday was the day I attended le Colin Meloy concert. There I saw his awesome performance and giggled at his jokes and awed at his skill. He confessed that he broke his personal rule of not making songs too personal and made this song about him having a kid.
It was very touching and adorable. I love how excited he is becoming a dad. I think he'll make a great dad. Why? Because he has the best hugs in the world, and I'm not biased.
there were many cute moments in the concert. I love how intimate he is with his audience because, well, not all artists are like that. Dude, he even had props. hahaha
fan: I LOVE YOU!!!
Colin Meloy: I think you're biased.
tee-hee. he's awesome. anyway. Lauren,Cori and I (with my persistence) waited for him out side the TLA. In the cold i started shuffling my feet for warmth, which lead to a crappy version of jigging. then with suggestions from lauren, I took my cap and started begging for money and singing super mario brother songs and greeting those passing by a "hey! how are you doing?" One had a crowd of punks and this guy came back and put some change in my hat and asked for a hug, which I happily gave him.
for some reason I must have been delirious or something thats more easy to spell. Anyway, a few seconds after lauren calling me a whore, Colin Meloy comes out of the TLA and I turned to him with my mouth slightly hanging open.
candalf: I was going to ask you for money, but you're colin meloy.
colin meloy: ask me for money? are you a destitute?
candalf: whats a destitute?
I asked him for a picture and a hug which he oh so happily gave. I swear to god, when he puts his arm around you, he makes this warm special nook that is just fits you nice. I swear to god he practices this in the mirror. and his hugs are so nice <3 awww~ <3
anyway, as he was leaving, I started fucking up and letting lauren talk. because then she started telling him how much of a racist I am and stated my christmas present for her as an example (I gave her white chocolate because she's white) and how i wanted to eat her little nephew (a baby that was freakishly white).
I'm sure colin meloy felt awkward and just smiled it away. He's pretty sure he's going to forget that disturbing story after a few drinks with his friend.
but hell, I was colin meloy fresh and I hugged some. <3 Though I wanted to invite him on a stalking evening for neil gaiman because he was in phily the other day. ;_;
...
I just quit my job in mcdonalds. I've only gone in for 3 days but apparently school has won and I never felt so out of place in a fast food restaurant.
Well, if I wasnt aiming to pass with flying colors then I wouldnt have quit but I am, so i did. I told a fellow co-worker that I quit because nursing is just heavy for me. she said, "why? I'm taking nursing. I'm taking some pre-requisites too"
for some reason, I felt pissed at her but I just acted as in awe because I was nice and I'm sure she wanted to be awed about that.
mcdonalds is an ok place. it has its nice times and i like the moms, dads, grandmas and grandpas that come by because when I tell them that I'm just starting, they're real polite about it. A returning customer cheered me on acknowledging my improvement.
Well, goodbye mcdonalds. I'll stop eating your food now.
Sunday, January 22
|
I'm sorry, but WHO THE
FUCK ARE YOU SPAMMING MY FUCKING TAGBOARD!?!
- thank god they give me the option to delete whoever.
...
Navi: hey, it works. Lupin? ah yes. I have still yet to find awe and marvel at it.
Kuya: wait, he did that many? well, problem is that I only liked the two. so far, his latest ones arent really my type. for some reason...
They had a miyazaki marathon on cable so I just enjoyed the freebie of it... ness...
I would go home and buy the DVDs but I dont want to get deported. or maybe I do... I dont know. I'm pissed for having a jersey accent when I've only been here for a year and a half.
Kloh: hey mamao. you still with that chinese/vietnamese/korean dude? tell him i said he's a pussy. you heard me!
...
Dad + Driving = Suicide.
The list of reasons will forever grow long. my patience at this moment has dwindled. and I am... I cant even describe it. but I think its pretty negative.
...
What's up with me? Nothin much. Sad that aurora, erika and greta have stopped updating their blogs.
I am pretty much dead on this side. though I am meeting very nice people in nursing class, my philly life style has, I think, gone to a stop.
There are a few punk guys whose idea of fun is different from mine but I do like one of their friends, Hatter. She's so awesome. I love her. Last time they taxikilled, I'm happy that I didnt participate. I partially participated. I threw the pavement a snickers bar. I'm happy I missed and I'm happy its not egg.
but hey, I think they're pretty nice people if it wasnt for the idea that they trashed me and lauren. lauren was pretty cool with it but me... I dont know if it pissed me off but it just rubbed me the wrong way.
I mean, if I dont like moshpits, I sure as hell wouldnt like to be pushed on cushiony trashbags. they werent that cushiony at all damn it!!!
so... hows abouts youze guys?
...
Pretty much a lot of sadness that I cant attend trish and henry's wedding. but I hope they do like my wedding present to them.
pretty much a lot of mixed feelings not attneding chirstine's and david's wedding. but I'll want to go more if I can keep the pianist and if Kuya Allans going to MC. Tito chris? I dont know. but I like Kuya Allan more. He's funny and if he brings his dog he gets 1,000 more points.
...
Nursing has begun and I think I put too much workload for me to handle. 15-credit class, 2 4-creds, and 1 3-cred + 2 part time jobs. and I'm pretty pissed that McDonalds pays $6.25 and hour. thats too fucking low. I'd kill myself.
Oh my gosh. I"m an obnoxious person now. FUCKER~!!! but hey, if they pay for my tuition and books. its so worth it because they're fucking expensive.
I have work later so I'll see you'ze soon.
Ps. Taxikilling is not my cup of tea. and the TOEFL headquarters is a bitch.
ta-ta~
Thursday, January 12
|
Kuya: I was peer-pressured to throw eggs. they said it would make me feel good. it didnt. because when I ran, I tripped and then i fell on the floor.
I hope the driver was white.
Chat: anytime. ^_^
Erika: "Be kind... for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Plato I liked that quote. I have it somewhere. I forgot about it for a while. and by similar hobbies you mean being naked, thinking and chasing after little boys?
sweetie, you gender bend. you're like... that guy in Hana Kimi-- you're a kissing monster when you're drunk. hahaha! you're a pussy.
Thank you. <3 yes. I finally watched donnie darko. alot of people were bugging me to watch it. I finally watched it and I am confused. I need someone to answer my questions but I fear spoiling the movie for others.
...
*tears as she types*
oh my god. I just watched
Nausicaa, Valley of the Wind and
Laputa, Castle in the Sky. and can I just say, I've never wanted to be a kid so badly after watching those two.
I dont know about Spirited Away though. but hell! Mark Hamill voice acted in both of those movies. <3
I couldnt help shouting side comments to the TV. Trying to persuade the villains to let the heroine go and what nots. And be completely amazed by Laputa's soundtrack. I was crying all the way when Nausicaa ended.
I remember when I was a kid, I'd keep telling dad to buy me that movie. I dont remember much of it now, but I really liked it when I was a kid.
Oh it left me asparkle. <3
and you'd never think that the animation was made in the mid 1980s because its so FUCKING
FLUID!
but can i just say, Rogue of the xmen movie, who dubbed the leading female in castle in the sky, (well, for me) had an inconsistent accent. thats all. BWAHAHAHAHAAA!! MARK HAMILL!! *screams like a fangirl* when I heard you laugh, I thought about joker and I knew it was you <3 words cannot express my addiction to your creepy joker laugh.
...
8:30am
candalf: umm.. hello. may i please speak to kim packer (hoping to ask for the orientation schedule)
lady: Oh, she's having an orientation right now.
candalf: really? what time does the orientation start?
lady: 8:00am
candaf: fuck.I think god wants me to be a nurse. because when I arrived, apparently the camera was broken so the whole orientation was stalled for an hour. and just when I came the orientation started.
Another instance was during my fall orientation. I forgot about it. Completely.
and then the whole school got a blackout and later in the afternoon, the lady called me up and said that "todays orientation is cancelled for tom because of the blackout."
and its like... someone doesnt want me to miss an orientation... >_>;;
oh yes. theres one pinoy guy there and he's old. but still, he's pinoy.
lady: so what are you bringing to nursing?
candalf: well since everyone said everything there is to say (good at listening, understanding, compassionate and care)... umm... I'll bring... good stuff. A lot of good stuff.
I cant make a funny.
...
UBER VULNERABLE PIC OF VAN WHICH IS TEH HOT AND SIZZLING!!!I remember when I first saw van like that in the series, thats when my like for him grew. oh yes. theres something about a really heart broken character that is so... --for some reason uke keeps popping in my mind... but I was trying to say sexeh~
and yet for some reason i am reminded of dogs with a missing leg. *tear*
I have no idea, so far my desires for the classics are growing in me. rk ,eva, izcer, voe, yaiba and others. and the lack of resources kill me even more. gah.
...I swear to god. that look is the "take me home" look....
Monday, January 9
|
Navi: *hug*. yes. "hug"
char: settled? awesome.
...
Sunday night was weird.
I started my day off with internet.
Followed it with a trip to Philadelphia with Lauren.
Then met these two punk guys who convinced us to throw eggs at taxis. (I tripped when I ran by the way)
And ended it with a wonderful conversation with a gay guy in the train.
Maybe it was actually a great night and I cant feel the significance of it. but seriously, I wasn’t really in the mood for socializing. But I swear to god. I loved that gay guy. That 10 min talk with that gay guy completely ruled those 5 hours with those guys.
I’m sorry. But my love for gays who call me gorgeous is--- well, really, really strong. I love him. We talked about his hair and hair. And our slight fetishes with hair.
I love him. mom, I'm inlove with that 30-40 year old gay man I met on the train who has a sad story about missing his hair stylist. <3
Friday, January 6
|
Navi: "A new year, a new chance to become a better person, and to make up for the shitty things you did before."
We tell ourselves that every year but never really fulfil it. At the end of the year, we regret and make up another later-unfulfilled resolution. At least you try. I hope that this year will be good to me and to you to.
Thanks, man.
oh yea. I have a new year resolution for you: shave. *peace* thank you~
Kuya: damn right I'm poor. I have perfectly trained my friend to saw "
aww *in a pitiful way*" to me everytime I whine about something.
whoa really? that so awesome. haha I havent really talked to henry's mom. maybe I should meet her. but no beer. beer tastes ugly.
I always wonder if I should care about the long run or the short. I hate it. people here in their 20's think of their retirement plans. Some also worry about their freaking souls in the after life. I'm unhappy because it feels like if I'm happy now, then I'm going to be unhappy later.
you do remember that you scarred me so badly that i couldnt draw for a while.
sweet. I love juicy secrets. I think the only reason why i continue education here in america because the students here are sometimes nicer and come in different ages, sizes and smells. cheers to experiencing oddity that others havent.
greta: I clean my house more often when my mom's around. i feel bad that people dont help her most of the time. and she has osteo-athritis and a pinch nerve. its a killer.
greta. I got drunk coz I thought you didnt love me anymore. *tragic pose*
I dont want to be the favorite kid. >_< or maybe I do? I dont know. but guess what, my dad said it once (and later on forgot) that I was the only daughter. *scores*
wait... what does the F4 have to do with anything?! Oh greta. I miss your inane-ity. You should be with me when i drink so I have someone to take care of me and hold me in their arms. and hold my hair back when i vomit. i love youze. hahaha!
actually, I was really pink when i was drunk, I hear. though this happened in a conversation with greta earlier-- I just wanted to share:
candalf: at least I dont gender-bend like erika when i'm drunk
greta: really?
candalf: so I hear.
greta: wait, whats erikas gender?
candalf: asexual.fuck you guys. I found it funny.
Joey: Dude, what is it with us? I mean all our uncles are our drinking buddies?! hahaha. we should really have a get together with my uncle's because he has a bar in his basement. hahaha
Aurora: Oh sweetie. i was better. actually my stomach is a bit better. I'm completely sober so give me a decent reply!
Char: thanks for the belated new year.
...
I realized that everyone gets depressed too. not now, but maybe later. its not just me. and some people just dont want to say it because they dont want to be a pussy like me. but you see here, i dont fucking care. if I want a hug, I'm getting a fucking hug damnit. whether it be a cyber hug.
so even if you may know this, this is just a reminder: be nice to each other. we're all having a hard time too.
but I maybe adding insult to injury once in a while. I'm ignornat, clueless, stupid, dramatic, have aweful timing and be tactless and slow. I admit it. What I'm trying to practice now is the only american virtue that i approve of: saying something straight rather than having all that pent up frustration.
so this time, I dont have the problem anymore, you do. (yea. I just completely reversed me whole "be nice." thing. but timing is always key. but hey, if I hate you, I'll tell you too.)
but hey, I figure a real friend can take an opinion. right, patricia cancio? or did i get it wrong this time? wait. I wasnt really listening to what she said at the time. no one really cares anyway. ¬_¬
...
Lately-- well not really lately, but for some time now, I have been realizing that I'm making my life harder than what it is.
Maybe I'm just pretending I'm having a conflict between art and nursing.
Maybe I'm just a person who refuses to go on with normal life like everyone else in the real world because as i child i believed in going to other worlds, or taking backpacking journeys and not having menstruation bother me.
Maybe I would have actually become a championship squash player if i concentrated on it.
Maybe I lack more serotonin then some people.
or maybe deep inside I'm a fucking pussy emo.
I hate that everything would have been simple if I fully believed it was simple. All i had to do was go to college, finish nursing and be a nurse. If I had to think about all the other things: happiness, the desire to leave a legacy, to dream of doing something awesome and accomplishing it, to have my parents proud of me. If only we dont demand everything else in life we wouldnt have a hard time right?
do how does one not desire anything? I asked my parents what they wanted to be when they were kids. I remember my dad said that he was not born like i was, he didnt have time to think of what he wanted to be. I remember my mom said that, all she knew was that she had to earn money. (and right now, I'm the queen of run-on sentences.)
So I guess desire comes from bordeom and free time? --- scratch that bullshit. I'm just wasting space here. haha.
...
Maybe I'm growing out of larc, it makes me feel sad. but theres just something about ajikan that i love. right now, i feel ajikan and not larc. so for the mean time, fuck you larc. you're now a cross dressing bunch of seniors who sometimes put me to shame.
except for ken and yuki. they're completely cool.
as for now, I"m nothing but a jar filled with ajikan and mafia cookies. Yesterday I watched a documentary about mafias. and so my awe-ing began. damn you sicily! I wish that the philippines can make some awesomely cool mafias too.
at one point i wanted to make a story about that. but then again, I le suck at narration and story telling and plot lines and everything else so I dont see the point of that anyway. I mean, why butcher a dream that i hold dear?
...
27 minutes. it took my dad and i 27 minutes to go to the mall. and in those 27 minutes, my dad was preatching to me about god. I can only tolerate so much about religion. I dont like being preached to. its like saying on that you're right about something and you dont really consider the listener/non-listeners opinion about it.
but I cant tell my dad, "hey dad, I dont want to hear about god. I'm not a catholic. And everything you're telling me now, i already learned it from poveda." He tells me 3 things consistently:
1. you have to know yourself. I know that im good at starting businesses so you see (talks about himself, again. 3 times in one sitting. I swear to god.)
2. you have to offer everything to god
3. your art, you know, its something special. you can use it in cooking. you know theres a visual presentation when you cook.
Dad. I'm in the age when im trying to know myself. dad. I know. dad. i know. dad. i know. dad. the art that i like... has nothing to do with cooking... I cant eat paintings. i cant eat computers and comics. I mean, sure its edible but I doubt the digesting process.
I'm sorry I'm just ranting. but I'm free to rant. my mom finds it funny and shameful and pitiful. and my dad. I just dont know how to deal with it.
but on the way back, I'm happy that I got to hear his opinion about his family and him tell me about his brothers and sister. For some reason, I love to hear some people to be pissed off with other people. it just reminds me its ok to hate.
I wonder if my dad is offering his hate to god too.
...
this blog post has been candalf approved.
cheeres to yesteryear's aborted resolutions and numerous typos!
