Friday, December 8
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Aurora: I do have fangirl innocence. Its not letting reality spoil your perverted fangirl fantasies.
sweetie. erika's right. your blog is gone. ;_; some asshole took it. just like how some asshole did some bullshit on my tagboard.
oh one day, we'll be in new york with our brand new camera's clicking away and being arrested for stalkery.
Erika: Fatima used to hump trees. just so you remember. haha I do like hugs. they keep me from killing myself. HAHAHAHA. that was a horrible joke that I'll never use ever again.
I like being moved by the stupidest things. I love being inspired and sadly that inspiration doesnt linger long enough for me to do something extraordinary. tsk tsk
I remember the not-so-good ol days of colon-ial problemados. I miss oogling over manga characters. Shikamaru is hot now. Its amazing and also surprising. After azuma's death, shikamaru turns cool. I'm all likes: "OHMYGODS THAT IS TEH HOTSORES!"
...
I will not over analyze things. A friend of mine in chinese class thinks that I have a wrong way of thinking. Because I dont want to change who i am, I choose not to ask people out on a date. and because I say pretty boy is pretty, I should ask him out. (thats how they think)
Well, pretty boy is just a pretty thing to look at. nothing more, nothing less. I'm too cool for dating and all this sexual orientation crap. though I do love oogling over someone/something, I will continue on saying that pretty boy is pretty.
I'm the person who, once taken that step forward, will sink so deeply into that step. I over do it. I'm obsessive compulsive in that sense.
but I will relish the jdrama moments of
(1) him giving me his phone number
(2) him picking up my book when it fell
a scene that needed a re-take was:
(1) my head was on my books and he was passing by. he asked my friends, "what wrong with her?" --I mean, read the god damn jdrama manual. tap me on the shoulder or something and ask me.
the thing that i didnt get was:
(1) pb: what was "qui"?
me: what's qui? you mean hui?
pb: it was "h"?
me: you mean, you spent an extra 10 minutes on that test thinking if it was a "q" or an "h"?
pb: *nods*
aww. its so cute. but he had like, a whole barkada with him at the time to ask and why did he ask me? --lets not over analzyse that. it is what it is. I'm leaving it at that.
I think I'll rename him as peanut butter. I like peanut butter. it makes everything tastier. and awesome. wait. peanut butter is too awesome for him. I take it back.
anyway. thats just fuel for fangirly drives, if anything. and kwento for aurora. hahaha. I dont date. I'm too cool for that. I'd kidnap him though and open a brothel and everything. So, basically, I dont date the merchandise. harharhar
...
I feel like I've come a long way from somewhere.
Carry the Zero by Built to Spill was my favorite song since I first arrived in america. It was my saving song. It wasnt angry when I was angry. It wasnt upset when I was upset. It was very indifferent. That song, how would i described it, looked the other way when everyone and myself was looking at the goal we were told to look at.
I'd play this song most in the times when I was numb and I felt saved. Now, I'l lying down on my bed, trying to recover from a sore throat and a sinus congestion. I have 3 more projects to do before the fall 2006 semester ends. I have friends that I love, ignore, havent seen and recently made.
Its been two and a half years. I dont know if I am different from who i was before.
I've kept this blog since kuya left america. That was in 2002. its already 2006.
Wow. Its been that long. There are some things that I learned and some things i regret doing. But what's done is done. And what happens, happens.
so... yep. end of todays feeling of revelation.
